


Boundless

by fencer_x



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Loveless Fusion, First Time, M/M, Switching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 12:20:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13570470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fencer_x/pseuds/fencer_x
Summary: [Loveless AU - HRH NSFW Day 1, "Bad/Awkward Sex"] Rin has finally made it to the national stage, with a promising swimming career ahead of him and a worthy rival who's going to be pushing him to new heights. Just one problem: it's pretty much impossible to grab Olympic Gold with ears and a tail creating drag in the water.





	Boundless

"God _dammit_ ," Rin cursed softly, clutching the stopwatch so tight he risked cracking the display, and then tossed it aside with an angry grunt to send it skittering over the tile. Gripping the poolside, he closed his eyes and leaned forward, resting his forehead on the edge as he took several calming breaths.

Zero-point-seven. That was the bane of his existence now. Zero-point-seven. Not all that terrifying a set of digits until coupled with a unit of _seconds_ and tacked to the end of Rin's latest weekly average lap time, where it represented a dismal reality: he'd peaked. Peaked, at age twenty-one, when he ought to have been competitive well into his early thirties, and now he was swimming, on average, zero-point-seven seconds _slower_ than the freestyler who'd transferred from an Okinawan club six months back. Kakihara was cool, a decent guy with some killer thighs that really helped on the turns—but Rin could not stomach zero-point-seven seconds between them. 

And this time a year ago, he hadn't _had_ to, because he'd been the fastest in the club. Had been the fastest in the _ward_ even, and Haru was _damn_ lucky to be living in Chuo-ku and not Minato, or else he'd be stuck forever in Rin's wake. Even after Kakihara had joined, he'd managed to hang on to his position for a month or so, but there must've been something in the waters down south, because slowly but surely, Rin's commanding lead over the rest of the club began to crumble, and no amount of after-hours training or diet adjustment or theory study was doing a damn thing to fix _zero-point-seven_.

But then, why should it? His training regimen wasn't the problem behind his inability to improve any further, nor was his diet, nor was his form. In fact, Rin was pretty sure he knew exactly how to demolish zero-point-seven and get back on top of his game.

He needed to sleep with someone.

The first thing they taught you when you began to swim competitively was _reduce your drag_. Pick your suit carefully, put on strategic bulk, shave if you needed to—anything to let the water slip past with as little resistance as possible. 

So ears and a tail? Yeah, you might as well have been swimming with a drag chute hanging behind you, then. 

Rin grabbed the railing and hauled himself up onto the poolside, tugging off his cap and ruffling his hair with one hand while he tugged sourly on an eartip with the other. 

He wasn't the _only_ one in the club who still had his ears; a few of the newbies freshly scouted from the high school circuit had their ears, and one of the trainers—an older woman who could've been Rin's mom—had hers still too, though some wondered if they weren't simply cosmetic clip-ons. For whatever reason anyone would _want_ to pretend to still have ears at her age.

But he _was_ the only one hoping to keep his position on the national team, a feat that was going to be a hell of a lot more difficult this year between Kakihara and fucking zero-point-seven. He needed al the help he could get, frankly.

This wasn't exactly the first time he'd ever _thought_ about it, though. Hell, even back in Australia, his teammates had joked in ribald tones _gonna improve my time a full second this weekend with Stacy-so-and-so_! Rin had had no desire to do anything with Stacy-so-and-so, so he'd just smiled and nodded with forced laughter. None of them had ever acted on the idea, to Rin's knowledge, but the understanding hung between them all the same: no virgin was ever gonna win gold. 

His tail swished angrily behind him as he marched into the locker room. He hadn't worked his ass off for the last ten years, gone through shit so dark he'd forgotten there was a light, to have his dream shot down because he just hadn't found the time—between forty-hour training weeks and trips home every other weekend to visit his mom and Gou—to get laid. 

He'd read somewhere that there were injections you could get, some hormone something or other that made your system think you'd done the deed—for the desperate, Rin supposed. But he wasn't _desperate_ ; he just didn't have _time_ , that's all. Plus, well, there was...adult shit to think about now. Like sponsors. And how they might feel about their brand being associated with someone who sucked dick. Not that he'd ever even done _that_ , but still. He thought about it sometimes. Only sometimes.

He grabbed one of the free shower stalls and rinsed off—zero-point-seven called for a nice hot soak in the tub tonight, so he'd scrub down later. Gou was taking the weekend to spend with friends in Kyoto, so his mother had encouraged him to take the weekend to relax rather than hopping a red-eye back to Tottori. He closed his eyes and stepped under the warm spray, smiling wryly to himself imagining what they would say when they found him earless. Gou still had hers—thank god; he wasn't ready for that yet—but she'd want details, and his mother...well, she was more difficult to predict. She'd always let him live his life by his own rules, so while she'd probably be curious, she wouldn't pry. But she still might try to sit him down and give him The Talk, and she'd want to know he was happy. He wasn't sure what he could say to that—she could be just as romantic as him some times, and the thought that he'd only doffed his ears to make up a precious few milliseconds probably wouldn't sit well with her. He thought again about _actually_ finding someone worthwhile to lose them to, then quickly shuttered the idea.

He barely had time to remember to feed himself these days; how could he keep up with a relationship? He'd be a shitty boyfriend, and anyone worth having didn't deserve to be stuck with him. He slicked his hair back from his face with one hand and cut the water off with the other, then stepped into the changing stall where a pair of sweats and clean boxers hung.

Dinner tonight would have to be leftovers. Thursdays were mackerel nights—a concession to Haru when Rin had insisted on helping him create a diet regimen that wasn't 150% fish. He'd agreed to it eventually, after several rewrites and even then only once Rin had agreed to set aside one night a week himself for mackerel. "Because all you eat is meat; eating so much of the same thing just isn't healthy," the prick had reasoned. Mackerel Thursdays then turned into Leftover Fridays, since the mackerel curry he usually made kept well and was simple enough to reheat the next evening. Some days he regretted going out of his way to drag Haru into his world. Only some days.

He nearly dozed off on the subway ride him, grateful he only had one changeover instead of the several he'd have to struggle through if he'd lived further outside the city like some of his teammates. Rent was cheaper out in the suburbs, and the pace was more relaxed, but having spent a good portion of his youth in Sydney, he kind of preferred the frenetic pace of a metropolis. The post-workout high was fading fast as he leaned on the button for his floor, and he rested his head against the cool metal wall of the elevator as he waited for the doors to open—

—and then stepped out onto his landing and nearly tripped over Haru, who was reading a book, seated right beside his door.

He did a little dance to try and keep from toppling forward, grousing in irritation, "What the hell, Haru? I nearly broke my neck!"

Haru pulled his legs up out of the way, then calmly slipped his book into the pack beside him and zipped it closed. "You should really watch where you're going; you could get hurt."

Rin's ears flattened against his head, and his tail fwipped from side to side, but he managed to bite back any further comments here in the hallway where anyone could eavesdrop. "What're you doing here? It's just good manners to _call_ someone if you're gonna come by."

"Calling is annoying."

"Then _text_ , geez."

"Easier to just come by."

Rin threw his hands into the air, then shouldered Haru aside to unlock his apartment. "Get inside—my neighbors are probably gonna think I've got a stalker or something with you hanging out here."

He slapped his hand blindly on the wall just inside the genkan until he found the switch, and soft fluorescent lights flickered on overhead, casting the state of Rin's living quarters in sallow shades of yellow and blue. He needed to do dishes, had a sack of trash that needed putting out, and was running low on detergent for the coin laundry around the corner, so his dirty clothes were piling up. Haru didn't seem to mind, though, making a beeline for the kotatsu and settling down on one of the floor cushions.

Rin puttered about the kitchen, fishing out a pair of glass tumblers and filling them with _mugicha_ because Haru was an inconvenience, but even inconveniences deserved the niceties of a polite reception in one's home. "So? To what do I owe the honor of an in-person visit from Nanase Haruka himself? We're still on for Wednesday, right? If we need to schedule another time to go over the lineup, then—"

"No, it's fine." He cupped the glass with both hands, staring at it, and now Rin was starting to get a little antsy. Haru was generally a pretty quiet, low-key guy, but this was different. Like he had something to say, he just didn't want to spit it out. 

Rin chewed on his lip, glancing around the room idly as he groped for a topic of conversation. "So, Gou was saying—"

"Zero-point-seven..." Haru started, eyes still glued to his tumbler.

Rin stiffened, ears pricked. "...What?"

Haru slowly drew the glass to his lips and took a measured sip. "I saw your times on your club's home page—your average for the past three months is zero-point-seven seconds slower than the period before then." He flicked his gaze up to meet Rin's. "...And before that, it was down by point-two."

Shit. How did he know that? Home page, he'd said? "Wha—they post our times _online_?"

"Of course." His tone was matter-of-fact and not a little derisive, as if he weren't the one who'd only moments before complained that technology was too inconvenient to use. "You don't check mine?"

Years as Haru's friend had carefully attuned Rin to the heated offense running under that thin film of cool detachment, and he winced inwardly. "Of-of course not—I'd rather hear it straight from you. And I don't care what your times are in practice; it's what you bring to meets that count." Something occurred to him here. "... _Should_ I be checking?"

"If you had..." Haru traced symbols in the condensation clouding the glass. "...You'd see that I'm down zero-point-five on average in the past three months."

And that didn't sit well with Rin at all, because it was one thing for _him_ to be having an off day (or an off few months...), but the last time Haru'd really stumbled like this had been at a point in their lives they really didn't like to reflect on all that deeply. They'd both pulled themselves back together, were standing on their own feet now—slipping down the slope again when they were so near the summit...well, it was frankly just a little bit terrifying. Rin forced a huffing chuckle. "Is that your way of saying you're still beating me?"

Haru made a fist, head ducked. "...Are you going to get rid of your ears?"

Rin nearly choked on his tea, pounding on his chest as he sucked in great gulps of air. Haru was a blur through the tears filling his eyes, and he rubbed at them. " _Fuck_ Haru, where did that come from?!"

"It's just a question."

"Yeah, a private one!"

" _Private_?" This, he spit out in accusation, as if it were any of his business, and Rin felt his ire spike at the gall, until Haru continued, "I've never cared about my own times...but I've always cared about yours."

And damn, but Haru really knew how to hit where it hurt. Rin rubbed the back of his neck. "Listen, it's my problem—I'll figure out a way to handle it on my own." How best to get Haru to drop this? "I'm working with our manager to try a few things before I even _think_ about anything that drastic." Haru didn't seem convinced, so he added hopefully, "I mean, there are still plenty of swimmers who compete with their ears!"

"Not at the Olympics, though."

"No..." Rin sighed, rubbing the knot of tension forming between his brows. "No, there aren't..."

"So _are_ you?" 

"I don't kn—" He huffed in irritation, trying to divert the conversation. "Whatever—shouldn't you be worrying about your own times before you harangue me about mine?"

Haru was staring at his tea again. "...I am." He swallowed thickly. "...I'm going to get rid of my ears—and you should too." He then brought his eyes back up to meet Rin's, staring with that cold, sharp blue that always sent shivers racing down his spine. "We should do it together."

"We—should _what_?" He tried to laugh, but all that came out was a keening little frantic whine, and he wished he were standing right now so that he could pace out this energy. "You've gotta be—I mean that's the most _ridiculous_ thing—and you're not even—I mean _I'M_ not even—!" He wiped his face, then waved a hand in Haru's general direction. "But you don't _need_ to! Point-five is nothing!"

" _Nothing_?"

And that was bullshit, they both knew it, so he tried a different tack. "Besides, you've got that little stub tail; how much trouble is that really causing?"

"Point-five-seconds' worth..." Haru reminded bluntly, ears flattened in irritation. "And it's a _bobtail_. Not a stub."

"The point is," Rin continued, "This is...I mean, that's a _big deal_ , what you're suggesting, and all I'm asking is: why should _you_ go through so much trouble? Just stick your little st— _bobtail_ in your suit and make sure your cap tamps down your ears flat enough for a streamline. Surely that'd be enough?"

"It might be..." Haru conceded, shifting uncomfortably. "...But you can't do that."

"Well—no, but like I said. That's my problem. I'll figure out something—there's drugs you can take nowadays, or surgery—"

" _Surgery_?" Haru's eyes narrowed. "You really don't want to get rid of them naturally _that_ much?"

"Wh—I never said that! Just..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I mean, it's a hassle finding someone, for one, and I don't..." He glanced off to the side, shoulders hunched, because Haru was the last person he wanted to look like a romantic wimp in front of. "I don't...want to do it with just _anyone_. So...something like the surgery, or the injections would be easier."

"And I told you." Haru drew back, staring down at his lap and twiddling his thumbs. "...Either way, I'm still going to do it. I don't want anything holding me back." He shifted around, pulling his pack together, and made to stand. "But when I take gold, and you don't even make the national team...you'll know why." He stared down at Rin. "I'm not _just anyone_. And you wouldn't be _just anyone_ to me, either."

Rin felt his chest clench as Haru started for the door. There had been a time when he would've done anything to make sure he could keep swimming next to Haru—and now he was going to let that dream go to shit just because he had a little romantic hang-up? This was nothing. Getting rid of his ears...sure, society made a big deal about it, but this was his life. When had he given a damn what society told him he ought to do? If he wanted that big romantic pay-off like they played up in the movies, he could have it later. After he'd retired. After it didn't _matter_ if he had ears or not. Right now, this was just another step toward his dream, and for once, Haru was willing to walk there with him, instead of one or the other playing catch-up.

He didn't want to be left behind again. _Never_ wanted to be in that position—not for competitive reasons, but because it just felt so damn lonely, thinking Haru was someplace he couldn't reach. 

He closed his eyes, swallowed. "Wait."

* * *

If they were going to do this, Rin decided, they were going to do it right. "Fine. Okay, I guess..." Shit, he was going to regret this for a million and one reasons once this was all over with. "I'll try to find, um, a...a place online. Maybe a hotel out in Koufu or something." Where hopefully no one would recognize them. He was pretty sure none of the members of his club were from Yamanashi, but he didn't know about Haru's. Should he ask? Or would he come off paranoid? Well, he _was_ paranoid, but he didn't want Haru to know that. 

"A hotel?"

"Hm? Well—yeah, that's where people usually..."

Haru glanced around. "Why not here?"

" _What_?" He laughed, a little manically. "Oh _hell_ no, we are not fucking in my apartment. I have to _live here_ after we're done, you know."

"But—" Haru checked his watch with a little frown. "It's nearly 10 now; we won't be able to make it to Koufu tonight."

"Tonight?" He narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Wait—you think we're doing this _tonight_?"

Haru drew his bag into his lap and unzipped it, pulling out all manner of obscene paraphernalia and setting it on the table between them. "Why not? I have everything already. Lubricant, prophylactics, an instructional video—" Okay, that was definitely porn. "And I'm not sure what this is, but it was in the 'recommended items' area of the webpage." Rin didn't know what it was either, and he didn't want to find out.

"You..." He swallowed, suddenly woozy. "You...brought all this stuff with you...?"

Haru shrugged. "We'll need it, won't we?"

"I—guess so? But just..." He goggled at the display. " _Now_? Shouldn't we prepare for..."

Haru tapped the bottle of lubricant—it looked industrial-sized, geez. "That's what this is for."

"Not _that_ kind of..." He shook his head and rubbed his temples. Fuck, Haru seriously wanted to do this _right now_. Not next month, not even next weekend. Not even _tomorrow_. But now, here on Rin's bed—and god he didn't want to do it on his bed, but it was either that or the floor, since he hadn't had a chance (or reason) to buy a guest futon yet. He considered for a moment suggesting they go to Haru's place, but that wouldn't be much better. 

He _could_ just say no. Put his foot down, explain that he wasn't going to make a snap decision about something this important, and that he'd just text Haru the details when he settled down. But that just brought them back around to the issue that this wasn't _supposed_ to be a big deal. This wasn't something he needed to get mentally prepared for—it just needed to happen. Then, he'd get his zero-point-seven back and _then_ some, and he could go back to focusing on shit that mattered, instead of _this_. Which _didn't_.

"...Fine. Fine, let's just get it over with..." He shifted to his feet, shuffling over to his bed and stripping off everything but the fitted sheet covering the mattress. If he'd had a plastic tarp to lay down, he would, but he could always just launder the sheet when they were done. Or burn it. Probably burn it. Maybe the whole bed, even.

He considered a bath—he hadn't done more than rinse in the showers at practice. But then again, Haru would probably get off on the scent of chlorine leached into his skin, so maybe it'd help make this go a little more smoothly. Something occurred to him here, though, and he turned back to Haru with a frown. "Wait—who gets to top?"

"What?"

"You know, who...um, sticks it in?" It didn't really matter, from a biological perspective—it was all hormonal and the body's reaction to foreign particles, or so they'd taught in those awkward sex-ed classes when most of the guys around Rin had been more interested in ogling the illustrations of sex organs than in learning anything about their bodies. It was why they could recreate it through injections and surgeries now, though the old-fashioned way was still the most popular by far. 

Haru mulled the question for a moment. "Does it make a difference?"

"Well, I mean, maybe a _little_?" Did it not to Haru? Rin had only considered this kind of thing a few times, in the darkest corners of his mind when he dared think about the physical element of some far-off distant hypothetical relationship that wouldn't happen for _years_ yet, but in all honesty, he didn't have enough experience to form an opinion either way. Of course jerking off felt great—so one had to assume slipping it into something tighter, hotter, slicker than your own fist would feel _amazing_. But all those guys extolling the virtues of a good reaming, going on and on in chat rooms and message boards and comment sections about the perfect dick hitting the perfect spot...well, they couldn't _all_ be blowing smoke, right?

Haru nodded, though, as if he'd come to some grand conclusion. "You have a point. We should switch."

Rin felt a little woozy at the suggestion. "But—we only need to do it _once_ for the reaction to take, right...?"

"Yes, but this way it's fair." Rin couldn't really disagree with the base logic, but this now meant they'd be fucking precisely one more time than was strictly necessary, making an already awkward arrangement all the stranger.

"So...twice, then..."

"To completion, to make it simple, I suppose." And _what_ about any of this was remotely 'simple'? He was really starting to regret this; maybe they ought to put the brakes on, reconvene next weekend. Rin didn't want to be the only one going into all of this blindsided. It was not only a little uncomfortable, it was embarrassing! Haru was a step ahead, and even in a matter such as this, that grated. Maybe _especially_ because it was a matter such as this. But then Haru said the one thing that could have made him reconsider: "You can go first, if you like."

First—as in, Haru was gonna let him be the one to slip it in? Did that mean Haru _wanted_ to be...? Or was he just being a nice guy? Granted, 'nice guy' and 'Haru' didn't really conflate in his mind, but still: he couldn't help but be grateful. Interested as he was in finding out what some guys found so great about taking it up the ass, he wasn't sure that he could handle all of that pressure, all of that _unknown_ right now, right off the bat. Maybe he'd just say 'fuck it' once he'd gotten off, and he could ride that post-orgasm high through whatever Haru wanted to do to him. 

While he was busy basking in the relief of being allowed to go first, though, Haru was already stripping—which for Haru, generally took somewhere between five and ten seconds. Rin snorted when his windpants came off. "Of course you've got a suit on..."

Haru glanced down. "Should I not?" Rin opened his mouth to start lecturing him on what were and weren't proper underwear, but then the jammers came off too, and Rin had to turn away with a little cough. "Aren't you going to take yours off too?"

"I—yeah, yeah." He glanced warily over his shoulder, meeting Haru's heavy, judging gaze. "Geez, don't _watch_ me!"

"Why not? You watched me."

"Yeah, and I turned away when it got weird!"

"It's nothing you've never seen before." Which was true, because modesty really didn't have much place in the locker room of a swim club. Sure, you didn't walk around with _everything_ on display usually, but it was virtually impossible to go years with someone and never catch a glimpse of their ass. Or other bits. "And that seems a ridiculous stance to take when we're about to do this."

"It's the _principle_ of the thing," Rin tried to reason. "Just—gimme a minute, okay? I don't need you staring..."

Haru shrugged and turned back to the table, picking through the pile of condoms and giving the lubricant an experimental sniff, while Rin finished disrobing. Once down to his boxers, he quickly shucked them, tossed them to the foot of the bed, and crawled onto the mattress where he pulled his legs up to strategically hide any sensitive bits. "...All right, let's get this over with."

Haru snorted softly, grabbing two condoms and what looked like enough lubricant to shove a whale up his ass. "I would have thought a romantic like you would be more...insistent."

"About what?"

Haru settled on the edge of the mattress, just out of reach. "This."

Ah, so he hadn't disguised his inner turmoil half as well as he'd hoped. Great. "Well, I figure it was always gonna happen eventually, so..." He'd never had any intention of being celibate his entire life, if he could at all help it, so there was always going to be a 'first time'. And there would be a second, and a third, and somewhere along the way, he'd wind up doing it with someone who gave a shit about him, who really _loved_ him, because dammit, fine: he _was_ a romantic at heart. But he also knew when to set aside childish fantasies and do what needed to be done. And that was now. "Anyway, let's do this; I've gotta be up at 5 for my morning jog."

Haru gave him a look that might have been irritation, or could have simply been his usual glare, then shifted back on the bed until he hit the wall, shoulder brushing Rin's. "You'll need to be hard."

"I know _that_ much," Rin grumbled, knees still drawn to his chest in case Haru got any ideas about looking, and he carefully snaked his hand down to grip himself. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine this was just two friends, jerking off to a porno together. Not that he imagined Haru was the type to watch porn—or if he was, it was probably some weird water-related crap like that magazine he'd found stuffed under Haru's bed back in high school. He grinned at the memory, and what had been awkward groping grew a bit more tailored, his grip tightening on the upstroke and swiping across his tip as he began to settle into the comfortable familiar rhythm.

Once he stopped agonizing over the _impact_ of the event and just focused on enjoying it...he realized this was gonna be pretty awesome. He'd always been the sole party responsible for getting off in the past—what would it even _feel_ like to be totally lacking in control? To have someone else's heat, their tightness, their slickness the thing that tipped him over the edge? To never know how fast—or how slow—release would come, to be aching for it and have no choice in how long that ache lasted? _Fuck_ , forget jerking off; all he needed were those kinds of thoughts to get him up.

"If you come before I even mount, I'm going to count it as your turn, just so you know."

Rin flipped him off with his free hand, but wisely slowed his strokes, squeezing at the base and trying to turn his thoughts to less amorous subjects. "Fuck you, Nanase, I'm getting mine." Wait—what had he just said...? Rin's eyes popped open—and while he'd been working himself up to what he thought was a ranther handsome erection, Haru had shifted around, slung one leg over his own, and had a condom in his teeth, tearing the wrapper off with one hand while he braced against the wall Rin was leaning against with the other. "You—holy _shit_ , Haru, this is..."

He couldn't _not_ look at it. Haru's dick. Just, it was _right there_ , pretty unremarkable as far as dicks went but still _a dick_. And it was just weird seeing it attached to Haru. Haru was grace and power and beauty, and a dick was...well, those weren't the words that usually sprang to mind when you looked at a dick. Some part of him wanted to laugh, but he distantly registered that this would be woefully misconstrued by Haru, who could make the next few minutes of his life either very nice, or very not. 

Haru spit the wrapper onto the bed, then carefully positioned the condom over Rin's tip and rolled it down with practiced ease, clearly far less concerned with Rin's dick than he was Haru's. Rin could only watch, worried that if he tried to say anything, the quaver in his voice would give away his anticipation. Eagerness. Terror. A little bit of everything, all rolled into a dense pit at the bottom of his stomach. Haru blithely uncapped the lubricant, drizzling a dollop into his palm and giving Rin's dick a perfunctory swipe. "You take care of the rest," he instructed, shifting back onto his shins and lifting to his knees as he squeezed more lubricant into his palm, then reached underneath himself and began probing with a determined frown on his features.

Rin wondered if Haru had practiced this—he _had_ to have, right? Fingering yourself took some dexterity, and Haru was pretty limber, but most guys would at least balk a _little_ bit at the idea. If he _had_ practiced...had he done so because he wanted to, or because it was just pragmatic? He'd said he was going to lose his ears either way; did that mean he'd intended to find someone to fuck him? He didn't _look_ like he was really enjoying it, though...so why prepare to have someone's dick up your ass if you didn't really want it there?

"If you didn't want me staring...what makes you think I want you staring?" he ground out, though it was difficult to tell if the tension in his voice was from genuine irritation or because he was knuckle deep trying to stretch himself.

"Like you said...it's nothing I haven't seen before." Rin tried to keep his tone light, but he kept one hand firm on the base of his shaft, because _fuck_ if it wasn't hot seeing Haru start to slowly, but ever so surely, come unwound before him. It probably said something that he found the expressions on Haru's face hotter than what had put them there, but there you had it. Getting Haru fired up, drawing out his passion— _that_ was what Rin got off to. In the metaphorical sense, of course. Though maybe he'd be able to add the physical sense as well after all this was over. Shit, what if this became an issue in a race? _"And bringing up the rear, in a dismal last place, is Matsuoka Rin, though he'll be taking home the consolation prize of Biggest Damn Hard-on In The Pool this year, so congrats to him."_  
  
And then a hand was gently pushing his away, to wrap slender fingers around his shaft and angle it where it needed to point for as easy an entry as they could muster. "Ready?" Haru asked, and Rin nodded. Or he hoped he did, there was a lot going on right now, and his mind was all over the place. He could feel his tail twitching under him, curled into an awkward position that Rin thought would hurt in the morning before he remembered that he wouldn't have one in the morning. That kind of sucked. He liked his tail, even if it was inconvenient. It had to go—and the ears with it—but...well, sentiment. He was full of that, or so everyone and their brother told him.

He ran the hand not slick with lube through his hair, scratching at the base of his ears one last time, just for good measure. Haru's eyes followed, and his own ears flicked in sympathy. Maybe Haru wasn't as matter-of-fact about the whole thing as he came off. But he'd still made the decision, and there was really no turning back now. If it came down to a choice between his ears and his dream, he'd choose his dream a thousand times over. That Haru apparently would too helped just a little bit.

Haru one hand against Rin's chest, balancing carefully, as he slowly sank down onto Rin's dick, and in millimeters, in microfractions of distance, Rin felt himself being enveloped in tight, warm slickness that didn't _end_. It just kept going, tighter and tighter til he thought he was going to _pop._ He clenched his eyes shut, jaw tight and breath coming in frantic little pants. He didn't dare look—if he did, he was a goner. He tried to think about anything, about everything, about Gou in Kyoto with her friends. Maybe they were temple-hopping. Maybe they were celebrating finally being old enough to drink. Maybe they were—

" _Fuck_ , Haru..." His hands went to Haru's hips, grabbing vise-tight and solid. "Just—just stop for a...a second..." He swallowed, and he could feel tremors echoing from Haru's thighs through the mattress. It was a dick move, asking Haru to hold up, halfway down, but he either needed this to go really fast, or a hell of a lot slower. Maybe it'd been a bad idea to get that turned on before starting this venture. "I...I can't—"

"Do what you need to."

"Huh?" He opened his eyes, and Haru was leaning on him, practically in his face. He was flushed, temples throbbing with effort, and his mouth hung open as he gulped in air. "But..."

"If you want your turn...you'd better take it, if you can't handle me giving it to you."

Oh. So _that's_ how it was going to be? "Handle it? Fuck you..." He thrust his chin out, noses nearly brushing, and bit his lip to ground himself. "Hope you don't have any time trials next week."

"I have three—the 50, 100, and 200. And I'd like to swim them without the drag of ears, if it's all the same to you."

This asshole. He'd been taking the lead since they first started discussing this, and Rin was through being dragged around. A part of him that sounded suspiciously like Haru snickered _don't like the taste of your own medicine?_ but he brushed it aside, sighted himself, then thrust up as he pulled down on Haru's hips, seating himself fully in one swift stroke.

Stars burst behind his eyes, and he clenched them shut with a wince. He could hear Haru's huffed grunt, the way his breaths came as lighter pants and the soft, keening whine underlying it all, and he issued silent apology—but Haru _had_ told him to. If he hadn't wanted to be one-upped, he shouldn't have thrown down a glove.

He released a long, ragged breath as he fought to rein himself back under control, but Haru struggled atop him, thighs straining as he lifted up again. "What the—" Rin started, confused and winded, but before he could regroup, Haru relaxed and sat back down again, jolting Rin's hips. " _Ssshhii_ —" Rin held his breath, shaking his head. "Don't—do that, gimme a minute to—"

"A minute? You can last that long?"

Rin felt his face heat, and _who cared_ if he spurted too soon? He'd at least have the grand pleasure of wiping that superior expression from Haru's face before he did. He snapped his hips up, and Haru swallowed a gasp, eyes going wide. "Can _you_?" He didn't bother waiting for a reply, thrusting again, and again, and quickly his focus frayed, until it became less a reaction to Haru's goading and more a drive, a galloping race toward a precipice, and he didn't really care if Haru was with him when he went over or not, he just needed to _get there_ —

Haru had his head resting in the crook of Rin's neck, back arched in a long parabola, and every heathing breath was panted against Rin's collarbone. He'd left Haru behind, far in his wake, and Rin just pumped and pumped until he'd spent everything he had, announcing his victory in an agonized grunt before shuddering and slumping back against the wall. His vision swam, and his dick was twitching, still buried inside Haru's tight warmth.

He grinned loopily, a ready comment on his lips, until he stared down between them, in the space between their bellies...and saw Haru's hard, pert dick still sitting there, untended. "...Shit, you didn't get off?"

And somewhere, Haru found the strength to snort derisively. "...Shockingly, no. Not that your convulsions and staggering duration of thirty-seven seconds weren't titillating."

Rin winced, chagrined and oversensitive when Haru lifted up onto his knees and he slid out. He reached awkwardly for Haru's dick—it was the gentlemanly thing to do—but Haru just swatted his hand away. "Hey—what gives? I was just tryin' to help..."

"I don't need your help," Haru reminded, tone even, as he reached for another condom. He tapped the tip of Rin's softening dick. "Tie that off." 

"Wha—we're going again right _now_?" Rin laughed manically, shaking his head. "I'm sure you're in a bad state right now, but you gotta give me a couple minutes to catch my breath." Haru said nothing, focused entirely on the difficult task of removing the new condom from its wrapper with lube-slick fingers. Was he pissed? It was always hard to tell with Haru, given his resting bitch-face, but if he was thinking about taking his sexual frustration out on Rin, then... "I mean, I'd like to enjoy this too!"

"Don't worry," Haru reassured, finally using his teeth again to rip open the wrapper, and he spit the foil aside. "You will."

And was it just Rin's imagination, or had his dick jumped a little at that? He gave a dry little chuckle. "Someone's confident. Just so you know—it's _not_ as easy as you might think it is. I know from experience now."

"Spread your legs."

When Rin didn't comply quickly enough, Haru slapped his inner thigh,shifting around until he'd settled between Rin's legs. He felt crazy exposed, on display and nowhere near as confident being on the receiving end as he had on the giving. But he'd agreed that fair was fair, and Haru hadn't looked like he was in _pain_ , so maybe it wouldn't be as bad as he thought. Maybe— "What the _fuck_?"

He struggled to sit up, but Haru just braced a hand to his chest and pushed him back to settle against the wall. "Relax."

"Easy to say when you're poking around my—"

"You'll be glad for it. Soon."

And he knew Haru was right, but that didn't make the experience any less strange, and he tried once again to focus on anything else but the here and now. Had what they'd just done been enough to make them lose their ears? It'd been depressingly quick, according to Haru, but there'd still been someone's dick inside someone else, and he'd been taught that was a trigger. He tried to turn his ears, manipulating the sensitive little muscles to rotate them forward, but everything felt...dead. Disconnected. Was that what it was supposed to feel like? Or, _not_ feel like?

He grunted in discomfort when Haru added a second finger, scissoring gently and watching Rin's face with focused intent for reactions. "I feel like you didn't take this long when you were doing it to yourself..."

"You're more sensitive than me." He brushed his fingertips along the inside of Rin's channel, and it felt _really_ weird, but...not painful. Not at all. He shifted down the bed, spreading his legs just a little wider. In case Haru wanted to try that again. "I don't want to hurt you."

"So what—you didn't care if I hurt you?" It came out bitter, and Rin kicked himself.

"You didn't hurt me," was the calm reassurance, and Rin appreciated the fuck out of that, because Haru could've made it into a derisive snarky comment, but he hadn't. 

"Well...that's. Good, then." He swallowed, glancing up to the ceiling and counting the grains of popcorn overhead. It was a nice distraction, while Haru worked, until he decided to couple the fingers shoved up Rin's ass with another few curled around his dick, massaging it back to erection. Rin frowned down at him. "You don't have to do that—I can take care of myself."

"I know," Haru replied, simply, but didn't stop. Deciding it was hurting nothing, Rin closed his eyes again and imagined what he'd look like without ears. What Haru would look like. He'd never seen the guy any other way, and it'd be weird to look at him from now on and know what maybe no one else would: _I did that_. _He did that to me_. If you'd told Rin at age 11 that he was going to lose his ears not only to a guy, but to his rival, to someone who pissed him off at the best of times and inspired him at the worst, he probably would've slugged you. But here he was, about to have Nanase Haruka shove his dick inside him, and he only maybe 45% regretted it now. 

"Rin." Haru called him back to the moment, and grudgingly, he opened his eyes—to find Haru nose to nose with him.

"Wh-what? You're really close, geez..."

"...Can I kiss you?"

"Can you _wh_ —no! This is..." He shook his head, in case Haru didn't understand no meant no. "We're not _together_. Just stick it in me and let's get this over with."

"I know..." Haru's cheeks were still flushed, high and pink, and his eyes were heavy-lidded. Rin wondered who'd be the next person to see him like this, and if they'd appreciate it when they saw it. "I know, just...it feels right..."

"What kind of bullshit..." But really, what was he being difficult for _now_? They'd already done a hell of a lot worse than kiss, and given that Rin had shelved romantic notions for the evening, he might as well give Haru what he wanted, for whatever half-cocked reason he wanted to do it. "...Whatever. Knock yourself out. But—I'm _not_ kissing back."

"We'll see..." Haru murmured, and before Rin could ask what _that_ meant, he'd bridged the distance between their lips, slotting his over Rin's and drawing Rin down into an insistent caress. His fingers flexed, grip tightened, and the kiss deepened, and Rin thought his mind was going to split three ways, because too much _stimulation_. He gasped, and Haru slipped him tongue—the bastard. 

Haru began to thrust his fingers, slow and gentle, stretching and releasing in a delicate rhythm that had stopped being painful sometime after he'd started leaking over Haru's fist on his dick, and he could feel himself losing the battle against thrusting his hips to demand more. Of what, he wasn't really sure—everything, maybe. He wanted Haru to sit on his dick again, tight and soft and warm; wanted to finally feel what he'd done to Haru because these teasing brushes were downright torture; wanted—god help him—to shove his tongue down Haru's throat, see if he liked _that_. He probably would, just to be contrary.

" _Rin_..." Haru murmured in a throaty rasp against his lips, and when had he learned to talk like that? His name wasn't supposed to sound like that—not when _Haru_ said it. It was supposed to be an exasperated _Rin_ , or a cool and collected _Rin_ , but never— _never_ this...he refused to say 'sexy', because that was right out. But...something like that...That was— " _Ri_ — _n_....Rin, please... I want to..." God, he was painfully hard now, and Haru had to know that, had to feel Rin's dick going turncoat, betraying his arousal—and then he _still_ felt like he had to ask permission? Rin was drowning here; you didn't ask the person drowning if they _wanted_ a life raft. You _put them in it_. 

His heart was pounding so hard, he could barely get words out. He ran his palms over Haru's chest, settling them at the nape, and bit out, lips brushing on every word, "Do what you need to."

Haru released a juddering sigh, withdrawing his fingers before gamely maneuvering his dick into position, and when the hell had he managed to slip a condom on, let alone lube up? "Relax," he urged again, and Rin wondered if he was talking to Rin, or himself. Probably both of them, because it sounded like pretty good advice all around right now. He kept one hand on Rin's dick, keeping it interested with long, slow strokes as he inched in. If Rin had thought having fingers up his ass felt weird, the uncomfortable fullness of Haru's dick put it to shame, and he squirmed in place despite Haru's hissed warnings of _don't_ and _st-stop_. Maybe he'd pop mere seconds after getting it in, too; Rin half-hoped he did, just so they'd be even, and half-hoped he didn't, because...well.

And then Haru's lips were on his again, no more soft, indulgent kisses but now bruising, demanding ones—or no, not demanding so much as _challenging_ , a call and response pattern, willing Rin to rise up and not just sit there like some dead fish but to really _fuck_. They'd committed to this; may as well enjoy it, right? 

Rin brought his thighs up, locking them against Haru's hips as he caught his rhythm, and each punishing thrust sent Rin rocking into the bedcoils. Rin met the kisses with his own, and when Haru managed a broken, breathy, "Thought you weren't gonna kiss back...?" Rin slipped _him_ tongue, nipping his bottom lip with, "Thought I was gonna enjoy this?"

Haru seemed to take that for critique—seeing as it _was_ —and cupped his hands around Rin's asscheeks to change the angle of penetration, then braced his arms on the mattress and snapped his hips in a rolling insistent rhythm, like waves pounding against a shore, and Rin could feel bits of himself being drawn away in the metronym of Haru chanting _Rin Rin Rin_... in time with his thrusts. His balls ached, his dick was leaking like an old faucet, and it felt like everywhere Haru _could_ be inside him, he _was_ , and fuck if he wasn't getting off on it.

"Haru... _Haru_..." He'd thought this would be all flung limbs and bodily fluids and disappointing climaxes, and maybe it had been for him, but Haru owned this act like he'd been born to it, like Rin was his own personal pool and he was gonna swim the _fuck_ out of him. _I only swim free and the relay and Rin_. Maybe that'd be his new motto. Rin laughed, because that was all he had breath left to do, and when Haru kissed him this time, he could feel him smiling too.

But then they weren't just kissing—he was coming: pathetically, once again before Haru, but he was sharp on Rin's heels with a grunting, huffing thrust as he filled the condom and growled Rin's name into his neck, back heaving and weight pressing Rin down into the mattress. Rin flopped back, limbs askew and chest rising and falling with deep breaths, and he winced as Haru withdrew to collapse beside him, one arm lazily draped over Rin's midsection. His stomach felt sticky, courtesy of his release spattered milky white over rolling abdominals. He traced a finger through it, and it came away in long, thin threads. Gross.

"...I can't move my ears..." Haru mumbled weakly, voice still strained and raspy.

"Yeah, well I can't move _anything_ , so." The base of his spine felt numb, though—and not because he'd just been driven hard and put away wet. He tugged on his ears, but felt nothing. The nerves were deadening, and soon all that'd be left of their ears and tails would be faint lines of scar tissue. He rolled onto his side, frowning at Haru. "...You must've practiced. I dunno how, but that...that wasn't fair."

Haru snorted derisively, bringing his arm up to cover his eyes, and sighed. "...You're welcome to try again, if you like."

"I just might take you up on that!"

"So long as I get a chance to prove mine wasn't a fluke."

"Ah, that..." Rein it in, Matsuoka. Play it cool. "I...guess it's only fair..."

Haru let the arm nearest to Rin brush against him, fingers creeping down to trace the bones in his wrist. "...You'd better make up that point-seven seconds at your next time trial. I'll be watching."

"I'll make it up and _then some_." He'd have to, if he wanted to distract the other club members from the fact that, between Friday and Monday, he'd apparently lost his ears. He'd have to spend the rest of the weekend coming up with a story, because unless he sprouted _fins_ , they weren't gonna let this go without a fight. "And same goes for you."

"I have even less time to make up; it should be a snap."

"Screw you."

"Okay, but give me another few minutes."

God _dammit._


End file.
